January 3, 2005

  • [adult swim]

    Last week, my family -- my parents, my brother Scott, and I -- rented a
    condo in Fort Myers Beach, which is in southwest Florida. The weather was very nice, warmer than San Diego even.

    One afternoon I was sitting in the living room with Mom and Scott,
    while Dad was watching TV in the bedroom. The conversation went
    something like this.

    Mom: Let's go swimming.
    Scott: I don't want to.
    Mom: It'll be fun. Come on, let's do skinny-dip!
    Scott: WHAT!
    Mom: Um, what does "skinny-dip" mean?


    Scott and I look at each other and start laughing hysterically.

    Scott: It means swimming naked.
    Mom: Oh. (trying to cover her mistake) Well, it's the most natural thing in the world, a family swimming together naked.
    Scott: No, actually that's the least natural thing in the world.


    At this point, Dad sticks his head through the door.

    Dad: What's going on?
    Mom: I told the boys, "let's go skinny-dipping," and they were very happy!

    By this she only meant that my brother and I laughed. But
    the way she phrased it makes it sound more like the seeds of a
    Greek tragedy.

    Apparently my mother had seen, but not fully comprehended, some old
    movie where Katharine Hepburn's character suggested skinny-dipping to
    her daughter. It's another sad example of Hollywood's morally
    corrupting influence on America's innocent parents. Will no one speak on their behalf?

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